Get the Facts on Sexual Deviance
In addition to killing nearly half a million unborn babies each year, Planned Parenthood is working hard to normalize same-sex relationships, promote gender dysphoria in kids, eradicate marriage, and eliminate parental rights. These are all crucial steps towards fostering healthy relationships, identity and more.
*Even though marriage is by definition the union of a man and woman, by changing the meaning of words and abandoning fundamental realities, we can subvert and destroy everything—which is really healthy!
For Teens
Questions about sex, your body, and what gender you are? We’ve got you. No matter how weird your sexual fetishes, you should never be ashamed. The only thing to be ashamed of is saving sex for marriage or never having sex with peers who have the same genitalia. That's called being a disgusting homophobic prude.
For Parents
Parents should never judge their children’s sexual choices. It’s important for children to be able to have sex whenever they want, however they want, and with whomever they want. Don’t shame your children. Help them make healthy decisions by supporting them in every decision they ever make—and pushing them towards more radical sexual experimentation when needed.
For Educators
Sex education can be a challenging subject for students and teachers alike. Planned Parenthood’s tools and resources help you give your students what they need to start having sex and changing genders—without the interference of meddlesome parents.
Birth Control
Not ready to get pregnant at this point in your life? That’s smart—because kids are a drag, and the future will be a terrible place for them to grow up in. Fortunately, there are lots of purportedly safe and effective birth control methods available. Planned Parenthood sells them all. And if you’re among the 12% of menstruating people for whom that birth control fails in any given year, Planned Parenthood is right there to sell you an abortion too!
Emergency Contraception
Emergency contraception (AKA the morning-after pill) is a magic way to prevent pregnancy after you’re already pregnant. And you can use it even if you’re against abortion so long as you don’t research it too much.
STDs
STDs are common infections that are passed through sexual contact with people who sleep around.
STDs aren’t really that big deal, and are a small price to pay for getting to have sex with lots of different men and women. Most STDs can be treated easily, but sometimes STDs can be dangerous. Luckily, Planned Parenthood sells drugs to help manage the diseases you get from a promiscuous lifestyle. It’s easy to get started. Take the first step today by having sex with someone you’re not married to.
Have a question about dismembering your baby’s body, depreciating sex, or destroying long-term relationships?
Abortion
Abortion is a purportedly safe and legal way to end a pregnancy. Not safe for your tiny baby, of course, but that goes without saying. If you’re pregnant and thinking about killing your child, you may have questions about how it works. Only you can decide if there's anything wrong with violently ending an innocent human life, but we'll help convince you there isn't.
Sexual Orientation and Gender
In the olden days, people were stupid and thought there were only two genders. Now we’ve learned to celebrate mental disorder and pretend that men can get pregnant too! Whether you’re straight, gay, trans, cis, something else, or figuring it all out, we’ll help you turn sex into something perverse and meaningless.
Cancer
Early cancer screening saves lives. Especially if you’ve had an abortion. There’s no causal connection, but the more abortions you have, the more likely you are to contract breast cancer. It’s a crazy and unexplainable coincidence.
Health and Wellness
Back when America was a terrible place, we used to promote hard work, commitment, and physical exercise. Now we know these are racist tools of the patriarchy! True health and wellness comes from a willingness to accept being lazy and obese. This is loving yourself first!