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Get Care

Planned Abortion doesn't offer any services of our own. Instead we refer you to the largest abortion business in America. And the largest birth-control business in America. And the largest sex-education business in America! Planned Parenthood is all three, which allows them to ensure that every publicly-educated student is encouraged to have sex, use birth control, and get abortions!


Whether in person or by mail, Planned Parenthood will help you end the life of your baby each and every time your birth control fails. 

*This is not a picture of an actual abortion doctor. This is a stock photo. While real abortionists do enjoy getting between the legs of scared and sedated young women, they tend to be older and less female.

Sharing is Caring

Planned Parenthood loves to give back to the community. Of the hundreds of millions of Republican tax dollars that are channelled to Planned Parenthood each year, tens of millions are converted right back into contributions to the Democratic Party. Untold millions are thereby taken from bigoted anti-abortion extremists and lovingly redistributed to politicians who understand the value of exterminating poor minority babies. In 2022, Planned Parenthood spent $50 million on midterm elections alone—to ensure that only politicians who are firmly in their pocket would be elected to office.

Planned Parenthood Killing Centers

Find an Abortion Clinic

Planned Parenthood maintains a nationwide network of government-subsidized killing centers where they legally exterminate the smallest and most helpless members of the human community. It’s okay, though, because they’re mostly poor minority babies that nobody wants. Plus it’s good for the environment.

Expert Care

Planned Parenthood’s staff of trusted, trained abortionists will end your unborn baby’s life quickly and efficiently.


Affordable Access

Everyone deserves a tax-funded abortion. Whenever possible, Planned Parenthood will kill your baby on tax payers' dime.

Innovation and Research

Planned Parenthood is a leader in research and advancement of baby-killing technology.


Hear From Satisfied Customers

"Whenever I get a girl pregnant I send her straight to Planned Parenthood. I even help pay for the abortion if I have to. Nine times out of ten, I’m banging her again by the end of the week."

- Randy

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